Picture this: You're scrolling through your social media feed, and you come across a comment. It's a guy saying something along the lines of, "Women should check their friendzones if they want a man who treats them right." You've seen comments like this before, on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube - it doesn't matter the platform.
But here's the thing: The friendzone doesn't exist. It's a myth, a construct of unrequited feelings and misplaced expectations. And it's time we debunked it.
The Illusion of the Friendzone
Many people believe in the friendzone, thinking that if they just try hard enough, if they become someone they're not or jump through enough hoops, they'll finally be seen as 'worth it'. But the truth is, if someone doesn't see your value as you are, they're not for you. It's as simple as that.
Sticking around and orbiting someone who hasn't shown any interest, or if you know you don't actually intend to be their friend, is deception. It's not fair to you or the other person. And it's certainly not the basis for a healthy relationship.
The Importance of Self-Love and Self-Respect
Here's another truth: You can't expect to be treated with pure, gentle love by someone who doesn't genuinely love themselves. There's a reason the majority of people don't think it's possible for the honeymoon phase to last beyond the typical 90 days. Not many people actually like themselves.
But when someone has self-respect and self-love and is pursuing romance, they shoot their shot, get rejected, don't take it personally, and then move on. The only sticking around they're doing is if the interest is mutual.
Debunking the Myth
So, let's debunk this myth once and for all. The friendzone doesn't exist. What does exist is a lack of mutual interest, a lack of self-love, and a lack of self-respect. And these are things we can change.
It starts with self-love. Loving yourself means recognizing your worth and not settling for less than you deserve. It means not changing who you are to fit someone else's ideal. It means understanding that rejection is not a reflection of your worth, but a sign that you weren't right for each other.
Next comes self-respect. Respecting yourself means setting boundaries and not allowing others to treat you poorly. It means standing up for yourself and your needs. It means not sticking around in situations where you're not valued.
And finally, mutual interest. True, lasting relationships are built on mutual interest and respect. They're built on seeing and valuing each other as you are, not as you could be. They're built on honesty, communication, and genuine friendship.
So, the next time you see a comment about the friendzone, remember: It's a myth. And you're worth more than a myth.